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10 February 2013 @ 05:34 am
Yo, my peeps. Sorry that it seems I'm a very spaced out blogger, what with me not posting regularly.

Anywho. It's February and I'm now a Journalism major at my new college. I'm enjoying it so much!! And I work for a newspaper which is pretty awesome!! 
Current Location: Dorm room
Current Mood: Blarg
Current Music: Masha-Allah by Shreya Ghoshal & Kunal Ganjawala

Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: Set Fire To The Rain - Adele and DJ Ice
Yo everyone *^_^*

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
25 September 2011 @ 01:55 am
Well!!!! I'm 23 NOW!!!! I'm

super excited to celebrate

another year!!!! with all my

amazing friends here!!!!!
Current Location: Moberly, Missouri, USA
Current Mood: excitedexcited
01 September 2011 @ 12:43 pm
Today, Sept. 1st, would have been my son's, Tristian Lee Thompson, 7th birthday *^_^* I know he is in a better place but my heart still yearns for him. I will see him one day. Till then I will constantly send him my love <3 <3
Current Mood: enthralled
18 July 2011 @ 01:56 am

*stares at peeking thigh high* O_O

*stares at G molesting his mic* @_@

*falls over from blood lose* X_X

*G moves to stands in front of me*

*kneels in front of G* Me- That thigh high does things to my mind, Master.

What would you like to do?

*reaches out to touch his thigh*
Me- I want to undress you.

*G brushes skirt back*
G- Is that all?

*swallows nervously* Me- No.

*G steps closer until his skirt brushes my arms* G- What else?

*reached in through slit of skirt and touches his thigh*
Me- I want to ravish you.

*G grins, pleased* G- I’ll grant you’re wish.  *kneels in front of me slowly, flashing thigh* You’ve been a loyal servant to me.

#_# *nosebleed starts again* Me- Master!

G- Do you want to ravish me here on stage or in my bedroom?

*struggles to breath* Me- Bedroom!

*G picks me up, carries me outside, puts me in his car, and drives home quickly.* G- Bedroom is perfect.

*G carries me down and sits me on the edge of the bed, moving close enough to press into me.* Me- Please.

G- Undress me.

*kneels in front of G* Me- Yes, Master. *slowly unzips boots and slides them off* Me- Your body.. it just melts me. *leans forward and slowly pulls each thigh high off with teeth.*

*G grabs me after undressing him and flips me onto the bed* G- My turn.

X_X *dies over and over and over again* Me- I... I can do it.

*G hushes me and takes everything off. Steps back and whistles* G- Like a goddess. *G grins and slides onto bed*   G- Now. I thought you wanted to ravish me?*

* i growl and without a second though pounces on naked G* Me- With pleasure!!!

The end of dream ~_^ (stupid phone, LOL)

Current Location: United States, Missouri
Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: Fragrance [Live] - Gackt

I proud that Japan won the World Cup 2011!! Congratulations!! *\(^_^)/*

I am continually praying for the finishing preparations of the 2011 YFC world tour. I know that each one of them is working hard. I hope they are getting enough rest and that they don't get seriously sick during the tour. I know it will stress their bodies and will push them to their limits! In a few days the tour will be starting and they will be traveling from place to place for months. My most worry is about G though. He's still not completely better form him being sick this past month. I hope he gets better soon. He will be in my prayers and thoughts constantly. "Gackt, please take care!" It worries me (and your fans) when we watch you collapse form exhaustion because you push your body beyond the normal 100%. That is how amazing you are. Just rest when you can and have fun! Enjoy the tour! Rock everyone! Rock the world! You're the man, Gackt. You always will be! I can't wait until I get the chance to see you face to face and listen/rock out to one of your lives! Sending my love to you, G!! ~chu!!!
Current Location: United States, Missouri
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: None, LOL
16 July 2011 @ 09:34 pm

My dream was pushed along by the beautiful piano music Gackt composes! He has helped me see that I CAN reach my dream with hard work!! Maybe when I ask… he’ll let me work as an apprentice for a few months. So he can help me sharpen my skills as a pianist/singer/musician. ^_^ Why not learn from the best? HAHA!
Current Location: United States, Missouri
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Rain [KnT] - Gackt
16 July 2011 @ 09:28 pm

I wonder if Gackt’s ever considered taking on someone for an apprenticeship… O_o? Or been asked, LOL… I would love to study under him for a short while so that I can learn more about being a musician and learn about the music industry. And it’s not just because I’m a fangirl. I see how hard he works and how dedicated he is and I strive to achieve that fighting spirit as well. Why not learn from the best, LOL.^_^ I’m already taking steps towards that goal in life and hopefully one day it will be fulfilled ^_^v
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Current Location: United States, Missouri
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Mind Forest [2010 YFC Europe] - Gackt
16 July 2011 @ 07:42 pm

*sigh* Today has been such a horrible day. One of the worst in a long time. And to top things off I'm alone as well. I don't have friends close by to hug me or try to cheer me up. I'm just up in my room, in a strange town, all by myself watching my family fall apart again. I escaped that 4 years ago when I went to college. Well... not really. Whenever I would call my okaasan (mother) we would end up fighting about who knows what. Me sticking up for my sister and brother while she bad mouthed them... or because she was tired of everyone calling her and then hanging up when she started yelling. My grades would drop severely at these times in school and I would be brought in to my teacher's office and asked why I was failing. Then my brother would call and tell me that he's in the hospital because of his gay lifestyle or he'd be crying his eyes out. Then my sister would call and I'd learn that her boyfriend was beating her, taking beer bottles and breaking them over her head. And now she had a daughter who is a little over a year old and she's still living this way. She's dragging her from house to house, man to man. Lillian's been watching everyone drink and smoke and do drugs and lie and cheat and swear. She's going through what me and my siblings went through when we were growing up. And it's killing me. My sister is falling apart and soon, if she keeps lying to people she won't have anything to hold on to. She'll lose her daughter, her family, her house, her husband. Everything. It's killing me to watch my baby sister whom I protected all her life live like this. I just want to grab her and smack her and shake her so she'll open her eyes. And all in all, I'm alone in this. I'm the center for everything because it seems like I'm the strongest. But you know what. I'm hiding behind a mask I learned to put on when I was 6. My father beat me, raped me, beat my mother, drank, stole, everything. I couldn't handle it so I forgot. I locked it away. My mom divorced my dad and we moved. She went from abusive man to abusive man. I forgot and locked it away. I was molested and beat and emotionally beat down. I forgot and locked it away. Then one day I was sitting outside. I was playing outside of the apartment we were living in and I heard a window break as a woman was shoved through it. It triggered memories I had locked away. I began to scream and scream and scream and scream. I ran myself into walls. I threw myself down stairs. I screamed and screamed and when someone would try to touch me I would lash out. I bit and clawed and kicked. I was locked away for a year in the local psych ward. A year alone with my mom and and older brother and baby sister only coming to see me once that whole year. Alone in a room all white. A room with padding and only a tiny window. A doctor who smelled like chicken patties. A wood working class and a wooden red toy car I made all myself. I learned to put that mask on and hide everything behind it. I turned my emotions off. I didn't feel pain when I was beat. I didn't feel anger when I was lied to. I didn't feel fear when I was kidnapped and raped. I didn't feel sadness when I had to move from place to place. I didn't feel anything. I locked it away. I was called a freak for it. Slowly after I moved away from that horrible life situation and started college on my own, I began to learn what it was to let go of my emotions and to cry. I learned to laugh. I learned how to love someone. I learned what it was like to have a loving family, my college buddies. But I still hid behind my mask when ever my mother would call and yell at me. I still hid behind my mask when my brother called me crying and broken. I still hid behind my mask when I heard again and again that my sister was being beat. I hid behind my mask like I still do and act strong so that my brother, my sister, my niece, and my mother have a strong foundation to lean on. But that foundation is crumbling every so often. Just like in nature a building or a sculpture or a piece of landscape is eroded with time by wind and rain and man. I don't know how long my sanity will last. But for now the only way I am sane is with the help of God holding me up and Gackt offering me his shoulder to cry on and my music to pour my soul into.

This is why I have come to love that man so much. This isn't some petty obsessive fan love. It's genuine. Like all the real fans out there know. Our love isn't something that can be washed away with time. It's forever forged in our hearts. He heals. He holds. He loves. He knows. He listens. He makes our hearts beat once again. Thank you Gackt for being there at times when I need you most, like now, when I can only sit here and watch as the world crumbles around my family. Thank you and I love you. Arigatou, ne! ^_^v

Current Location: United States, Missouri
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Rain [KnT] - Gackt